Why we have so much Resistance and Fear when reaching for our goals.

If you've ever had a goal in your life or your business, which I'm sure you have, you might have found that there's some sort of little nagging thing that pulls you away from actually achieving it. Whether it is making offers, which I know a lot of people get scared about that, or it's setting aside time to put your phone down and actually get outside and go for a walk or see your family. There's things that happen internally, that we feel like we can't really control. We ALL struggle, right? Well, have you ever wondered why we have so much resistance and fear when reaching for our goals?

A few months ago… I did something major. I signed up for a program to help me stop working. To help me put down the phone and be with my kids. To allow me to focus more on my health than how many comments there were on a post. I have to say, the results were super mind blowing. And, I learned so much!

My friend and creator of the MINDFIX program, Erin Pheil, joined me in a Facebook Live to chat about why we all feel resistance and fear when moving toward our goals. Below are pieces from the interview- they are basic talking points, so make sure to check out the entire Facebook Live! 

These unique strategies are simple and clear…And they work. Tactics and strategies are one thing, but if you're stuck in fear none of it matters. If you've ever had something that you know you should change if you just can't seem to do it this is for you.


Why we have so much Resistance and Fear when reaching for our goals.

Molly Mahoney:  The first thing that Erin shared in her program is that actions are determined by our emotions and our thoughts. Tell us a little more about that.

Erin Pheil: Yes. A lot of people think their actions are random, but we take action based on what we think and what we feel, but it goes a level deeper. What we think and what we feel, is actually determined by what we believe to be true.

Molly Mahoney: Yes. Okay, so we've got to figure that out. Then it turns out that there are actually invisible rules. Please tell us about these invisible rules.

The Theta State

Erin Pheil: From the age of when we're born to about the age of seven, we are walking around in a theta state, where everything that we hear from adults, things that are repeated, get locked in to our subconscious as these “invisible rules,” these invisible tapes that are constantly playing about ourselves and about how the world works. This can be things like, I'm not good enough, or making money is hard, or making mistakes and failing is bad. Those statements get locked in and unless they're cleared out, we're constantly trying to push them down and pretend like they don't exist for the rest of our lives.

Molly Mahoney: Okay, and so then you mention that really, if we look at our brain as a whole, we start off with our primitive brain, which gives us a fight, flight or freeze. And then those get put on top of that. Just tell us a little bit about how that primitive brain works.

The Primitive Brain

Erin Pheil: Primitive brain is just there. It's all the time, it's just there. The primitive brain is made up of amygdala and other parts of our brain. Sometimes people get brain and mind confused. We've got our subconscious mind, we've got our conscious mind. Our conscious mind is what we're aware of, and our subconscious is usually right outside of our awareness. It's 95% of the decisions and the choices that we're making each day.

Molly Mahoney: 95%!  Okay. So, during the theta state, these ideas get locked in,  but are there other ways to get back into the theta state? How does that work?

Erin Pheil: Yeah, actually, people who go under hypnosis are able to get back into a theta state. People are in a theta state in the first few minutes when they wake up in the morning and right as they're falling asleep at night, which is why when we're in these hyper suggestible states, it's so great to feed your mind with a wonderful meditation or something really positive, instead of reaching for Facebook or watching a horror movie right before you fall asleep. Because we're so suggestible at these different times, you want to put the good stuff in.

Lock in the good stuff!

Molly Mahoney: I love it. And then, we can actually lock the good beliefs in, right?  So awesome. Okay. So then on top of that, we have our conscious mind.

Erin Pheil: Yup! And our conscious mind, even though it's 100% of what we're aware of, it's only, depending on what scientist you talk to, between 4-7 %  of our decisions and our choices that we make as we go throughout our day. It's where we have our analytical abilities, and our reasoning, and our logic, and our willpower, and our conscious desires, which is what we dream of and what we want.

Molly Mahoney:  So awesome. What we want to do is uncover and eliminate those beliefs that are holding us back, yeah?

Erin Pheil: Yeah, the stuff that's underneath the surface. We think we know what we believe. We think, “I'm powerful, I'm smart, I'm great.” But underneath the surface, those things that got locked in, that are acting like these loops, and like tapes in the background, those are often wreaking havoc and pulling us in the opposite direction away from where we really want to go and what we consciously desire. Pulling us away and creating resistance and fear when reaching for our goals!

Replace with the good stuff!

Molly Mahoney: Awesome. Okay, and so then once we eliminate those, we want to replace them with what?

Erin Pheil: It's really great if when you clear out the space and you eliminate the negatives and the things that are holding you back, you want to replace and make sure your subconscious mind is in alignment with your conscious mind, and that your vision of success and what you're dreaming of consciously gets put back into your subconscious, so that the two can be in alignment.

Molly Mahoney: That's where we talked a little bit about affirmations and the fact that if you are using something like powerful affirmations, you want to make sure they're speaking in a way that it works well with all of this, as opposed to just trying to squash these affirmations on top of the negative beliefs.

Erin Pheil: Exactly!


How awesome that there ACTUALLY is a way to help us understand why we have so much resistance and fear when reaching for our goals!

Again, I feel so lucky to have met Erin, and to have gone through her Mind Fix Program! I you want more information on Erin and her Mindful program check out You will NOT regret it! Now go and elevate your awesome! 


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This Post Has 69 Comments

  1. Suzanne Yada says:

    thanks for that – appreciate the extra context

  2. #goldbold address the subconscious to make lasting change.

  3. #goldbold uncover the rules and delete them. Oh but you can!!!!!

  4. Vaughn Fahie says:

    Wow! Great example “Santa Claus” program elimination!

  5. #goldbold you can shift with rule revelations mixed with evidence based reality.

  6. Q Is this similar to neurofeedback?

  7. Oh right. I sprinkled too. Lol.

  8. Marie Mason says:

    This is troublesome. I am not able to hear you oin my computer. I can on my phone. And I shut it down and it updated. Really odd. Volume controls are working fine. No sounds

  9. #nugget … feel like issues /PTSD therapy reinforces negativity…

  10. Marie Mason says:

    I will have to watch the replay sorry Molly.

  11. #NUGGET There is NO WOO in this process

  12. #goldbold the what can I do method is mine. It’s my choice. This is so good!

  13. #goldbold speedy recap! Yay.

  14. Marie Mason says:

    I think it is my computer sorry folks

  15. Marie Mason says:

    I can hear from my phone

  16. #NUGGET Emotions lead our actions

  17. #goldbold mind-reset does not have to be full of woo.

  18. #goldbold actions by our beliefs.

  19. #nugget What do I keep believing is true?

  20. Marie Mason says:

    Actions are determined by what we believe are true. Good point.

  21. #goldbold invisible rules start really early in life.

  22. #nugget delete tapes of negative thoughts

  23. Marie Mason says:

    Those sound like self limiting beliefs

  24. #goldbold fight flight freeze is our first response

  25. #goldbold theta state time is best for feeding our minds.

  26. Marie Mason says:

    Positive beliefs are positive affirmations

  27. #NUGGET Conscious mind is a VERY TINY percentage of what controls us

  28. #goldbold conscious mind is only about 5% of our action motivations

  29. #nugget put good stuff into our mind as we fall asleep and wake up. I’m going to listen to the Bible and worship songs at these times.

  30. Marie Mason says:

    Uncover and eliminate the unconcious decisions.

  31. #goldbold clear old tapes and replace with new dreams.

  32. #goldbold align to the dreams without piling on top of old beliefs.

  33. Woohoo. Congrats Lindy Swanson

  34. Suzanne Yada says:

    #nugget: what would i have to believe to be true in order to keep experiencing this over and over again?

  35. #you must illuminate before you can eliminate

  36. #nugget Q: what would I have to BELIEVE is true to fell this all the time

  37. What would I have to believe to be true in order to keep experiencing this over and over again?

  38. Marie Mason says:

    What will be true to help you figure out what is limiting your beliefs.

  39. Suzanne Yada says:

    i love that your hair colors are the same hahahah

  40. Marie Mason says:

    Thinking the same song for both of you.

  41. Vaughn Fahie says:

    Is that your mic too? Looking to get those

  42. #nugget I keep procrastinating because deep down I don’t feel successful if I don’t have a “real job.” So what if I quit teaching and I can’t make this work. I’m just CEO of my own business and I’ve crowned myself queen. This makes so much sense for me!

  43. Lisa Monks says:

    haha sounds like your computer is possessed!

  44. OMG…Yes! Have this issue all the time.

  45. OMG…The various excuses become smothering at times! They are for sure paralyzing!

  46. I don’t think the mindfix comment trigger is working

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